In an hour I have a midterm that counts for 25% of my grade in the class. I feel horribly unprepared even though I have studied to the best of my ability for it. I don’t think I’ve ever felt confident going into a test of any sort – I always fear for the worst. More often than not this fear has served me well. I study more than I need to for tests, always feeling like I could have a better grasp on the material ; as a result I end up with A’s and B’s.
However, I can feel this habitual stress wearing down on my body and my health. My stomach does flip-flops before any sort of exam. However, I don’t mind giving presentations or writing term papers because those tasks are designed to let me plan ahead and perfect the assignment before it is actually due. But tests challenge me to think of the spot and recall from memory. I don’t have the comfort and luxury of referring back to notes or a textbook.
In a way I envy the majority of the students around me who studied for an hour or so and, upon sitting down in class before a test, don’t seem at all intimidated by the fact that very shortly they’ll be expected to answer 100 questions in 50 minutes. Of course in these situations I want to do well and am glad I studied, but the idea that someone could actually feel prepared for a test and not have a nervous stomach ache just seems too surreal for an over achiever like me.
After this test, I’m done with class for the week. Finally…I am in serious need of some relaxation.
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